8 Reasons to Improve your Legalese

8 Reasons to Improve your Legalese
Tips for Lawyers Podcast

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00:00 / 13:56
 
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It’s essential for lawyers to develop their legalese properly.

In this podcast I provide 8 pieces of wisdom to really get your legalese on the right path.

Specifically in this podcast you will learn:

  1. Why clients need to appreciate how smart you are, and how using legalese can really help you in that respect
  2. Why your charge out rate is related to your need to use big words, and how as you increase in seniority you really should start using bigger words and more legalese, lest your clients abandon you are a simpleton;
  3. How to make judges love you by creative use of latin and other dead languages, and twists, turns and convolutions at every stage of advocacy;
  4. Improving your sentence structure and length by significantly increasing your use of the word “and” as well as modifiers and (subject to point 5 below) use of commas;
  5. How punctuation is ruining your career, making you seem stupid, and otherwise allowing people to understand what you are talking about (which is not a good thing);
  6. Why to ignore the myth of plain English drafting which is proliferated by people who don’t know what they are talking about – the reality being that proper use of legalese will catapult you into a better position in life;
  7. How to avoid using paragraphs, and why the “wall of text” needs a proper revival in all forms of legal drafting, legal writing and communication;
  8. Your obligation to your parents and how the cost of your education leaves you beholden to them to use big words and complex sentence structure.

Hope you enjoy!

If you’d like some less sarcastic tips on legal writing, check out my article Assignment to Advice.

Check out the rest of the Legalese Series:

  • Chris, when I was ab initio harnessing the ability of my eardrum to understand and determine the essence of the message contained in the soundwaves, travelling from my electronic sound system consisting of two monitor speakers and a subwoofer which was connected to my electronic device which harbours the operating system owned by the American corporation, Microsoft™, of your audio recording published on your webpage, TipsForLawyers.com and also available on, and possibly not limited to, an online platform owned by the American corporation, Apple Inc., titled, “8 Reasons to Improve Your Legalese,” it prima facie seemed that the message contained in your audio recording was of a serious and sincere nature with the intent to educate your listeners, in your audio recording published on your webpage, TipsForLawyers.com and also available on, and possibly not limited to, an online platform owned by the American corporation, Apple Inc., titled, “8 Reasons to Improve Your Legalese”, de minimis of legalese but when I came to the realisation that the essence of the message contained in the audio recording was not serious and was not sincere I ex tunc proceeded to engage my levator labii superioris and my risorius and my mentalis and my depressor anguli oris and my orbicularis oris and my buccinators and my depressor labii inferioris in an act of which one commonly participates in while appreciating joy and humour in an overt manner and ergo I would so like to show my appreciation for such a humorous audio recording ex cathedra which I am nunc situated on as I draft this sentence by expressing my feelings through the effects of the term: thank you for the laugh.

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